I'm So Tired Of Getting Unfortunate

Really. I am just tired of not getting what I want. I've been in this state for years and its getting tiring. But what can I do? I want to cry and claw my eyes out, tear my clothes and soak in the rain...but 1) there's no rain, 2) clothes are expensive and 3) I have this irritating tenacity that I cannot make myself cry in these situations. I am just so numb with all that has happened to me that I refuse to shed a single fucking tear for my own career. Its just not so worth it.

But then, I cannot afford a paradigm shift. I have a lot of options layed out in the table but somehow, I find it difficult to pick one and try....like there's a block of lead resting on my arm. I also have this huge anvil on my pride that makes me refuse to accept that everything I have worked for is not going so well. Sometimes I wonder if it's idiocy to peep through a pinhole of light when you can switch on a lightbulb.

What can I do to get this black cat out of me? I've tried fung shui, numerology for a time and even believe in horoscope. Prayers have been my refuge and I believe it works. But I still feel there's something that pulls me away from my goals, leading me away to the pits of darkness , to the cold and bitter riverbed left with the harrowness of a disgruntled pride. What invisible hand gently deter me from rising up to the surface and breathe in a normal stride? It's not even salvation that I look for: only a suck of calming air--and its constancy--enough to know that when I thread towards the river's edge there's always air around me, enough for every rise of my lungs, enough for me to live.

Are You Part Of Dumbledore's Army?

Jeff found this website where you can practice your wizarding skills...and we're DEFINITELY HOOKED...haha. We don't care if beat 10-year olds in this or them beating us...its just addicting!! haha. Stupefy! Protego! I LOOOVE IT!

Jhow and I watched the new Potter movie in IMAX and its so worth my $15 bucks. I like the movie...even though I loathe the book pieces. Book 5 is one tedious read without much story to advance the plot. The movie eliminated all those blahblah and created a good sequel to the Potter series. Jhow never read the book but liked the movie. Its THAT good. Plus the 3-D finale is AWESOME!! We bought tickets for the 9.30 AM screening. I thought it was all kids (yeah 90% of it) but there are adults as well. There's even two guys in their sixties wearing suits in our row. They have their briefcases with them: probably on their way to the office but opted to watch Harry before trading stocks. We even have this fairly adolescent group of HP fanatics rowmates sporting the lightning scar on their foreheads. WTF?! Pottermania is back!!

Part of Pottermania here in New York is a book launching party in Times Square on July 20 (which I am not planning to go). And...did you notice that Potter is in the cover of Details magazine this month? I dont like his shots in the feature article though. Too raunchy.

I couldnt believe why people are complaining that Harry had lost his magic. Well, I guess there's some universal truth in the Harry Potter series, which are:

1. Every one grows up. EVENTUALLY. Even I have to grow up and find a real job soon.
2. As you face the world, the story becomes darker and darker. Hell, if there's no darkness, how can you tell the bliss in finding the light. Sorry, I'm being Milton-ish here...but I find it true.
3. Magic never grows old. Merlin is a thousand years old but his magic never fails to bring back the kid in us. So does HP. I think even though Harry is some 64-year old actor doing Harry Potter 50, the magic on screen will never cease to enthrall me.

Ugh...on second thought...that's a lame idea. I won't be sitting on any HP movies past the 7th. And Harry too--he said so in the Details article. He wants to have a normal life. Just like the rest of us.

Lisa Rinna Should Go Back To Melrose Place

Horrible! Horrible!!!

There is a great pressure when you stage a musical such as Chicago since there's a film you have to struggle against. This production I watched, however, never rose to the challenge. They never bothered to challenge it even. Everything was so lame in this production, so bad that I wanted to leave the theater during the intermission break. They wrecked the piece! And I feel absolutely disgusted!

A show like Chicago should be treated with R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The plot is flawless, the book is excellent and the choreography (Bob Fosse fame) is a classic. Its a classic. I keep watching All That Jazz on youtube because it never fails to entertain me. I actually went to see Bob Fosse's choreography in this one (since the story is not much a surprise...I watched the film around...ummm...15 times). But they made a HUGE mess!!! *banging head on the table*

There are a lot of heavy set, insanely muscular dancers casted and I think they are awful on stage. Where are the graceful jazz dancer spines? the toned muscular backs of jazz dancers? Their bulk destroyed the form...which I value more than the rhinestones in Velma's shoes. And let's not talk about Velma and Roxie in this one. They are the most detached, most apathetic, dull actors I've watched in Broadway EVER.

So, I'll give this one NEGATIVE five stars. Watch and puke all over the floor.

So I'm Back To Do My Favorite Pasttime...Jobhunting.

I find my life so monotonous recently. It just revolves around unanswered application emails and trying to forget those. Trying to forget tools can be divided into 2 areas: meeting new people, hanging with old friends. Hanging out with friends is subdivided into 3 areas under it. Entertainment (watching movies, or broadway play), reading (trying to get one book past my book list) or alcohol (the one that makes you feel elated. so not isopropyl). And, for the past weeks, it has been more on alcohol and less on the last two. Gosh.

I could not even find time to write and for that matter, my neurons are taking much longer time to conjure words for a written piece of fucked up blog entry.

Anyway, I've been reading medical blogs since this morning and most of them are rants about the present medical care in the Philippines. Honestly, I've heard a lot of bullshit in the medical industry, hated the bureaucracy in PGH and facing private practice in a society where there is no working health insurance and therefore, no guarantees of being paid. So, I acted on it and went here to New York, passed every exam and decided to apply for any job in the medical field just to escape the sordid truth in the Philippine society. I was an escapee just like 1/2 of our class who decided to go to the land of milk and honey. So here I am, ready to start a life and be picked by an invisible hand to serve people I don't even know, or even, cared for.

Honestly, I miss my Filipino patients. I miss saying "Magandang umaga po. Ano pong ikukunsulta nila?" I miss waking my classmates in the middle of the night for a referral "Hey. My patient needs an ORIF, please do it for me...okay, thanks." And I miss helping Filipinos in need. Haay.

I miss eating with the nurses late in the night. And buying balot or siopao from the nearby food stalls.
I miss delivering babies and assisting in cesarian section while gossiping showbiz news.
I miss waking up in Boracay and greeting my first patient fresh from the bed.
I miss the house calls in Boracay and the excitement that you have to be on your toes for whatever consult they have.
I miss yosi breaks with the manongs and clerks in the hellish world of OsMun, usually after a code in the NICU and after a successful normal delivery (which sometimes scares the shit out of me. One word sends chills to my bones: dystocia)
I miss patients calling me up in the morning asking if it's ok to have cornflakes for her fluctuating blood sugar.
I miss reducing anterior shoulder dislocations in pedia patients (I've done this 3x in Boracay) and their look on you as if you're a superhero.
I miss eating with the NICU nurses and sneaking from the nursing supervisor since its forbidden to eat in the ICU. (But, we have the NA as look out.)
I miss saying "Oo wag kayong mag-alala. Kami po bahala sa anak nyo..."

I miss those simple things in my old life, and I'm pretty sure I'll never have them again.

Thank You For Leonardo Dreams Of His Flying Machine

Eric Whitacre is one of my favorite choral composer mainly for giving us profound and ethereal pieces like Leonardo and Cloudburst. I haven't sung these master works but I've heard it from recordings and from his CD. I swear, after hearing it, you want to go up to heaven and kiss God on the cheek thanking Him for His gift of music. And for giving us Eric Whitacre.

Next month, his play Paradise Lost will hold its premiere in Los Angeles. I hope God will send a special plane ticket so I could go and watch. I bet it will be magical. Here's a clip of Leonardo Dreams Of His Flying Machine...



It's hard core choral stuff and I guess not everyone will appreciate it. I very much like it. Its a breather from the Palestrinas and Laudrisen which sounds very old. This one sounds young, hip and well, magical. I like it. I first fell in love with Cloudburst and then I got hooked.

I miss singing...

Here's a video clip from the play THE ROMANCE OF MAGNO RUBIO, which I love. Subconsiously, I feel like screaming to every pinoy here in NYC I can't believe you haven't watched this play!! It is freakingly amazing!!.

I Think I Want To Work As A Writer Now...

I submitted a short review about the play The Romance of Magno Rubio to a US-based Pinoy newspaper. It was a spur of a moment thing, composed the crap in 30 minutes and typed it for 10. It's short and the whole story about this writing assignment will be in my next blog.

ROMANCE IN THE US SOIL (WHERE FILIPINOS TOIL)
Richmond J. Ramirez, MD

Setting afoot in New York City three months ago, I
watched a television plug of the play The Romance of
Magno Rubio. Surprisingly, it was riddled with a lot
of praises from the cynical, perfectly snubbish,
critics of New York. I always eyed the Broadway
musicals as my kind of theater but I knew, I would
eventually see this play. Together with my friends
Robert, Russell and Luise, we bought tickets for it
hoping to catch a drift of the Filipino heritage on
stage that was sweeping the Big Apple. Never did we
thought that we were close to have missed such a
brilliant theater piece.

The Ma-Yi Theater reminds me of the Wilfredo Ma.
Guerrero theater back in UP where I frequently watch
the works of Tony Mabesa, Floy Quintos and other
theater personalities that I have grown to admire
during my stay in the University. Surprisingly, 80%
of the attendance last night were consist of
non-Filipinos. The play's playbill then contained
glossary for Filipino words which I doubted for a moment
if the audience would appreciate the use of the
Filipino language in the play, especially in the singsong
parts.

Based from the work of the late Carlos Bulosan, it
tells the story of a Filipino migrant worker, named
Magno Rubio and his enigmatic love for an unseen American
woman from Arkansas. Bulosan, who himself was a
"manong", narrates the lives of the first generation
of 100,000 migrant Filipino laborers whom American
laborers hired to work in U.S. plantations. Their
lives provided the backdrop in which the love of Magno
Rubio blossomed in all its innocence.

The plot may sound cliche, but the script, actors and
direction on stage gave it lividity. Each of the
characters had their own strengths and the actors
played their part in a very impressive way. The
dialogue was interspersed wittingly with Tagalog,
which I think is conscientious of the rest of the
American audience. Complete with the singing, arnis
moves and clever Filipino humor, it was worth any
musical on broadway and better yet, we can call it our
own.

After watching the play and the constant battery of
the words "Filipino ako!", I felt a twinge of
nationalistic pride and nostalgia of being 20,000
miles away from home. Too bad, we were only four among
the few brown faces within the predominantly white
crowd. The Romance of Magno Rubio should have been
our celebration of the Filipino pride: that we are a
people who toiled the soil of foreign lands until our
backs ache, but has too rich a culture capable of
producing honorable works of art and most of all,
capable of loving in an almost insane, Filipino way.

It's 4AM...But, I SWEAR, Our Stupid Luck Made Us Walk In Brooklyn At This Time Of the Night...Er...Morning

It started out to be a good plan: Bring a few dollars enough for dinner. Dinner with Joseph. Go to Beej House for DVD ripping spree. Home. Little did I thought, that Beej wanted to go out and have drinks. We promised ourselves not to spend too much. $10 max.

But things lead to another: we had a drinks of $4 total, had great conversations with NFF, exchange numbers and then, left. It was a nice evening until The Fucking Series of Unfortunate Events: (take note, we're not even drunk!!)
BOOBOO NUMBER 1: We missed the G train because we were on the wrong side of the track. We're languishing in poverty, remember? This could've been a great plan.
BOOBOO NUMBER 2: Beej decides to get into a cab. My usual alcoholic self wants another plan: go to the bar, order another round of beers and come back to the subway after an hour. My buzz was wearing off so I thought it was a great idea. The cab isn't much of a stupid idea and could've worked under our budget until the freaking bridge in Brooklyn had to stop traffic and let a friggin' garbage barge passs through!!

We were like WHAT THE FUCK!! And we sat on the cab watching the meter tick to our very last cash. BOOBOO NUMBER 3: We paid and went out of the cab. Walking in disgrace to the sidewalks, we were howling with laughter with our humbling experience. We waited until the bridge closes the gap.
I was so amazed by our dumb luck last night, that I had to take pictures, blog it and store it in history. OHMYGOD, WE"RE SO BROKE THAT WE"RE WALKING IN JACKSON AVE AT 4 IN THE MORNING!!! I CANT FUCKIN' BELIEVE IT!! But it was really fun. Who would have thought that a PhD graduate and a MD is walking on the streets of Brooklyn and totally broke? Haha.
And finally we had to prove the time in pictures so we have this one. We're laughing like crazy for our misfortune and surely, all these will go down to the books. God, I have a fuckin' headache from lack of sleep but it's all worth it...

Mon and Jeff: A Simple Pigout Life (A photoblog)

Sunday, June 3. Jeff is off the whole weekend. A perfect time to take pictures on the subway. Phew! What a touristy thing to do. Though, I don't care. Everyone is still asleep on this sunday morning to give us bullshit.
Woke up early. No coffee yet, snatching some sleep and trying to block sunlight in the subway. Big duh. Taken on the Q train to Brooklyn using Jeff's new camera.
A hemirib cage of a cow prepared by Harold. It was wonderful...tastes like Friday's ribs. They've been cooking "simple meals" like this since 8am in the morning. I think it's a med choir thing. I love going to Brooklyn.
There goes my diet! I've been living with Slim Fast Optima bars for the past week to slice the slab of fat off my waistline...well, not today. I guess I could party once in a while.
Sinful truffle cake for dessert. We spiced it up with strawberries for that Food Network touch. We could sit and watch Food Network all day.
The Ultimate Tag Team in Sleeping. Is there a World Federation of some kind for this sport? I'm sure we'll kick other contenders' butts.
Off to Brighton Beach for a change in scenery and immersion in Russia. Everyone here is Russian and old. But, a beach is a beach. Nothing beats the salty breeze.
Cheers!! Drinking tarragon and pear flavored soda in a Russian restaurant. The pear soda tastes like sago't gulaman, I swear. Perfect with the lamb kebabs.
I don't even want to count the calories we consumed that day. Going back in Manhattan means starving myself to disintegrate those fat cells. Although, I look forward to another weekend in Brooklyn. Or some other place next time.

The Wait Is Killing Me And I Better Hit The Books

I mean THE books (shown left). Not the Medical Books that I am detesting right now. I haven't read anything of THE books lately since I came here in New York. I was so amazed by my iPod's capability of storing movies, which, I could view anywhere, anytime. I saw a few good movies in that gadget for the past months. It saves me money from going to the movies here in the US and it really keeps me updated with the box office.

Let me run you through. The Patricia Cornwell books were scavenged from my friend in San Fo which she was ready to throw away. I never read any of these crime thrillers actually and I guess its cheaper to start on something free. Haha. I bought The Swimming Pool Library and The Farming of Bones yesterday from Strand. Martin and John was procured with a dollar from the local library. And then, the rest are Spanish learning books, which I have been trying to learn for the past 3 months. No progress. I'm a dumbass, can't you see? After all the espanol I've learned, I tried conversing with a guy from Argentina via Skype the other day. I ended up using freetranslation.com the whole time. I was cutting and pasting frantically during the whole conversation. Thank you technology. But, the purpose was defeated at will.

And the wait literally kills me. I've been emailing all the program directors in all the states, but, still no luck. I'm trying (like hell) to keep my hopes up. But then, I went through very rough times in my life and this is NOTHING compared to that one.

Well, I buy books when I'm sad. I still have a lot of backlog books at home--30-ish--so I guess, that speaks for the pits, abyss and nadirs I went into. Nevertheless, I really want to write when I get old. That's why I want to have copies of good books. I can go back to the good ones and pick the author's brains. The Patricia Cornwell books have to go, though. It's just not the kind of literature that I will be proud to have sitting on my bookcase. But, I don't know. I can give her a chance.

Current Events Is My Favorite Subject in Grade Five

That's when I used to read Time, Asiaweek and the newspaper because I don't want my dad's subscription go to waste. Now, here's the scoop:

1. I bought a laptop for $200. -Tada- amazing, right? It's Celeron M, though, with a 40G HD and a GB of RAM. It's 2 years old and has wireless. But then, how can you go wrong? Its just for emailing and chatting and blogging plus all the dumbass shit I've been doing to pass time. It will do till I have the power to purchase a Mac.

2. I swear, I'm going to lose those extra pounds. Yoga is getting my attention right now. I havent started jogging yet. It's stupid but I'm kinda waiting for my iPod armband I ordered in amazon for 5 bucks. My toes are crossed; hoping it's not a piece of junk.

3. I'd better start reading. I wont reach 300 books by forty if I'm this slow. Actually, I would love to start a library but I'll be going around a lot, so its not the brightest of all ideas.

4. I need a new phone case. I was crossing the street to the apartment and was talking over the phone. Suddenly, the face plate came loose and dropped in the middle of the intersection! I have to pick it up and in the process, I was almost run down by those crazy NYC cab drivers! I need to go to chinatown soon.

5. Learn Spanish...pronto. It's a MUST skill for physicians in the US. The more you learn spanish, the more chances of winning. I'm not leaving the race...uh-huh...its definitely ON.

There's no room for laziness and complacency when you're thirty.

Friends, Gifts and A New Haircut For My Birthday...I Couldn'd Ask For More

Being unemployed and broke in the city did not stop my friends in celebrating my third decade of life. I was planning to celebrate it in low-key, totally proverbial kind of partying but it was nothing like that. It was a week-long celebration...I was partying with a different set of friends all the time and it was just a bliss to have these amazing friends around me. They all know what I went through and they were keeping me extremely happy. I could've done these things for them, I swear, if everything worked out the first time I set foot in NYC and I think they know that. That's why they're going all out for me. That's how I felt, though. It might be right or wrong, but I don't really care.

MON: Karaoke with Jeff and SLR friends
TUES: (my bday night) dinner with Cindy and Alex (thanks), Therapy and B bar with Beej. (I was drunk, but not Boracay drunk.)
WED: rest day (hangover...)
THURS: Pot luck with SLR pinoy mafia and Harold (he's from SUNY) and Beej(CUNY/NYU)
FRI: night out at The Web with Omar, Joseph and Beej
Saturday: Spring Awakening with Jong, Cindy and Jeng. (Thanks for the tickets, Jongster!)
SUN: Manhattan tour for Jeng, afternoon picnic at Central Park (we won for most food brought amongst the picnic people...it was a knockoff! Godiva chocolates in the park?? Who can beat that/)

This part, I would want to thank my sponsors: Beej for the kare-kare (I love, so love, absolutely love it), Chari (for the pasta), Cinds (for...schucks, I forgot what she brought), Alex (for the stroganoff), Aggie (for the cupcakes), Cla (for the cake, Harold (for the seal liver pate-an inside joke) and Debbie (for shit, I forgot too). Thanks people! Love you to bits. Of course, I can never thank Jeff enough for having me in his apartment.

Thanks, Jeng for this. I know its pricey, man, you shouldn't have bothered but thanks, really. I actually asked her to buy this for me in Dubai since fragrances like this one is much cheaper there. She just gave it to me and kissed me happy birthday. Aww, so sweet. She's an angel.

My boo was happy too. He sports a new coat now courtesy of Joseph and Jeff Price. But I am keeping my puke green skin for the iPod which everyone think is hedious. One friend even lied to me and quipped Well, I said it was cute that you have it. Liar! You told me it was cute. But then, your kare-kare made me forgive you. *wink*

And I got a new haircut--which whipped 10 years from my current age. I'm not really into this prepubertal kid look but I guess saying goodbye to my locks for the summer is a good idea. Its becoming unruly and mufasa-ish sometimes and I had terrible pictures during my birthday. So, I wont be posting any of those pics here. I hate blackmail.

This has been another unforgettable birthday, just like the bdays I spent in Manila where everybody in ICON and close friends would troop to our suburban home in the middle of summer. When everyone would say: "Man, I saw cows on the road on my way here and thats when I know I'm on the right track. Happy birthday!"

Actually, I'm not sure of the I couldn't ask for more part. Materialism is one of my favorite virtues, along with vanity and pretention. A MacBook and a job will be oh so fine.

Memorial Day Was Spent Visiting My Childhood Memories...Not Veterans

Memorial day was sunny and everything nice. Carlos phoned me the night before and ask me if I would like to come and have a barbeque with his family in this upstate park in NY. I said yes cause Jeff will probably sleep the whole day after a night float. Anyway, we're supposed to go to Bear Mountain but one of our companions has a dog. Unfortunately, wild life is already threatened in that park, I assume, so we ended up spending the afternoon in FDR park, which is 40 miles north of their place in the Bronx.

Generally, it was a slow day. But slow is nice, after all the partying I did during my BIRTHWEEK. (No, my mother didn't bear down that long but celebration for the big 3-Oh lasted for a week. And...I was delivered via C-section. My mom didn't have Shakira hips.)We ate, slept, played Nintendo DS and had an hour stroll which really fired up a tan. I wasn't planning to get burnt and I didn't have the faintest idea that it would be fun playing dumb computer games again.

It was also Carlos' birthday! I remember when we were kids, he goes to my house for my birthday and after five days, I would go to his house for his birthday. We were young then. Once upon a time, our problem was mainly keeping ourselves busy while waiting for the high school freaks to fill up the school bus. We once bought a box of firecrackers and almost set the bus tires on fire. We got caught, but he was casted into the fire 'cause back then, he was the rowdy one and I am the goody-two-shoes, overachiever kid who would never do such a thing (so they thought). God, that was fun. Now he has a cute kid (Allyson) and a Subaru on turbo engine. Things stayed the same after two and a half decades from prep school: I have the world on my shoulders and he always had one thrill of a ride.

And now I wish it was the other way around.

No, They Didn't Attend My Birthday Party But I Wish They Did

They're Jonathan and Lea from the first (take note) broadway musical I've seen since I got here. I've heard of Spring Awakening from my friends and it's been my wish to see this new musical from Duncan Sheik (my, he's so old now). Actually, my goal in going to the US is to look for a job and if all fails, watch this show. I never told my mom that, though. She might have fainted and cursed me to hell.

I'm happy that I got my wish three days after my birthday. It was a nice diversion after welcoming my big 3-Oh and realizing that I still live with my parent's subsidy. Gosh, that sucks. Getting student rush tickets didn't help that much, either. Getting a partial view of the stage really makes you suck your breath and sigh for all the things you can afford for now. (Operative word here is for now.)

So there, it was my birthday a week ago and I did celebrate for a week. I finished my exam before that that's why I had a lapse of inactivity in this site. The exam was so freaking hard. I literally want to strangle my friends who told me it was easy. Right now, I'm doing all those novenas and pray that my educated guesses really went to school. I need a deus ex machina and I hope its all in the works right now.

Okay, Spring Awakening: I had expectations...some were met, yes, but I think I wasn't ready for this kind of musical when I entered the Sullivan theater. Well, I just thought that it would be another musical like Wicked or Avenue Q in which the songs were made to tell the story. In Spring Awakening, its more like a Duncan Sheik album that was sang onstage and made a story fit for it. It was the other way around. I guess for me it wasn't a musical, but rather more like a concert play. I find Sheik's lyrics too flowery and too detached for a musical. There is generally a lot of abstraction in his lyrics which is, for me, hard to come from a play that supposed to tell a story or resolve a conflict. Neither it was conversational nor narrative. Also, the conflict was presented vaguely that I didn't have the urge to see Act two. Coming of age is not really a conflict, cause everyone goes through it, so I didn't really see the point. But that's just me and I sat through Act Two.

Put some sense on this, will you, and educate me:
O, I'm gonna be wounded.
O, I'm gonna be your wound.
O, I'm gonna bruise you.
O, you're gonna be my bruise.

This is supposed to be a romantic song but I can't...just can't get it. Is it because I read wound and bruise in a medical point of view? Or Duncan is too lame for a more sensible metaphor? That is where all the unmet expectations came from. All objections are overruled at this point, thank you, cause basically, this is my fucking blog. I doubt any major record label would like to release the song.

Anyway, it was filled with eye candy and butt exposure that is worth my dough. So I don't care about the content at all. (shrugs jokingly) The play has 11 tony nominations and I would like the guy who played Moritz to win. He sings The Bitch of Living and he's the most stable (vocally) among the cast.

It was a nice birthday and I have to tell the past week's events soon.

MedChoir Past, Present and Future

It's a nice spring day in the city, thus, we all trooped to Brooklyn and went to the Sias' Flatbush apartment. I like the Flatbush neighborhood: the Jews, ghetto and decent-looking flats in one area. It's like having a patch of communities in a single area and its a Q train away from the city.

My caloric intake for this day was fulfilled in a single sitting, so to speak. We had liver pate for appetizers, pasta bolognese, a ref cake with nice chilled wine and a helping of Junior's cheesecake (the best in the planet...although Rico's baked cheesecake came a close second). Its fun because it's been a while since the last time I saw Pia and Harold. Jong even came...all the way from Rhode Island. Too bad, Leng was the only Y.O. (young ones) present. It was still fun to hang out with them. We were a bunch of altos and basses, so we didn't even tried a chord. But still, its nice to hang out with old and new friends.

We watched our old choir tour cds all day--that's how we missed each other. We whined most of the time for the aesthenic habitus we will never achieve again and the sound we have made back then. It was a rather nostalgic and restful afternoon. Perfect timing before I hit the books again tomorrow.

I Feel Guilty...I Am Watching Films And TV Too Much

I watched this last night and it was quite a scare. Its a cross between Dawn of the Dead and hmm...The Sixth Sense. The actors are Russian and I guess that fact added to the macabre. I highly recommend it.

Finally, my tagline for this blog is finally making sense. If you are watching heroes, it is making sense indeed. The final 4 episodes are on the run every monday and its making me pee in anticipation. The storyline is so good and I've never been hooked to TV before but this one is definitely making history.

Fabulous Places To Study In New York

I got fed up with studying at apartment and with watching the construction of the condo in front of the window so, it's time to explore New York City WHILE I study. Sounds like a really NERDY thing to do. There are advantages in studying outside: 1) people watching (which I give 1,000 points), 2) I can explore New York and 3) makes me lose weight (I don't want to spend money on food that much) So, yesterday, I went to the Bryant Park branch of the NY Public Library with Chari. I had good 6 hours of reading and took some pictures.


Right now, I am here in a friend's apartment in Long Island, a subway stop away from Grand Central. I did a good 150 questions on the internet review site and then took a stroll out to check out their local park. Gosh, it is such a nice park and the day is totally perfect today. I caught these snapshots:


Undeniably, it was a good view of Manhattan. The UN building was directly in front of the pier and I BET it is more fantastic during the evening. My friend really had a good deal with his apartment. This is just a study break so I have to go back to the books.

Hasta manana.

A Hard-To-Put Down Movie Especially When You're Watching From Your iPod

I have this habit of watching a movie, or a part of it, on my iPod. With the state of my review right now and the dwindling amount of Step 3 information I have inside my head, I tend to restrict personal activities into: 1) watching American Idol, 2) doing yoga or any kind of exercise and 3)cleaning up the apartment. Last night, though, I tried to sleep while watching this movie. I ended up having some eye-shut at 3 in the morning.

Inspite of the not-so-inspiring review by the podcast Filmspotting, I still watched the movie, while I scratch my vertex and figuring out why the hell his supposedly-B-movie lasted three weeks in the box office. I must admit that Shia LaBeouf was one convincing 16-year-old. I can feel the agitation, the anxiety and the raging-hormones-portrayal of a neighborhood voyeur. And the yes, the B-movie plot moved on and revolved upon a serial killer neighbor. Big whoop. It's been sold, rented and remade in the movie industry but I guess the actors had to contribute in this one's success.

Now, I am really into Shia. Probably, I'll move on to watch his other indie films like Bobby and A Guide To Recognizing Your Saints...and I have to mention this: he is also in Transformers and the next Indiana Jones bound to be released next year. He's the "in" thing right now and you know how conformist I can get. *wink*

Taking An Exam Is Like Going To War, But I Need To Go To Sleep Now

I had a productive day. I did a little of this and a dash of that. I have to finish Crush the Boards tomorrow. Come to think of it, I haven't finished any review book. What the hell!! 18 days to go! Gosh, I really have to take this seriously from now on.

I have a new fascination right now: YOGA. Due to the lack of funds and the unbearable chill of the morning, I have no motivation/resources to go to the gym. Nor run in Central Park. So, I am doing yoga. Back in PI, I tend to shy away from isometric exercises like pilates and yoga. It's pure torture for me. I like active gym classes. Well, poverty is a real bummer. Yoga is a poor man's exercise anyway.

But, yeah...now I'm beginning to like yoga. Will I be a vegetarian too? Nah, adobong sitao is never a match for adobong manok...so, I never entertained the idea.

Before I sleep, I just want to share this picture from Jeff's apartment rooftop:


That's something. And that's me trying to break the wind with my face. God, I look awful. That not a good final thought for the day. Hmm...it will do. Wait! Its a sunny day tomorrow. I can jog in the morning. For an hour. Before I start studying. (Why am I writing like Anne Proulx?)

That's fine. It'll be sunny tomorrow: something to look forward to.

Good night, minions.

I Want To Be A Success Story

I am currently studying 6 hours a day, exercising for 2, doing less TV and eating less.

I need to find a job and pass this test.
I need to learn how to cook.
I need to lose weight and be fit.
That is why I haven't updated this blog.

I have no social life
No time to tumble and play
I'm going crazy for the lack of it
No booze nights to kill the stress

My life is my iPod, my books and my cigs
The cable and the net too
Basically, I learned I can live my life with those things
But I have to figure out where to get dough.

I swear, I'm getting crazy because I never wrote poems
Especially in this blog of nonsense rants;
Cause I don't like to be called a showoff
And poems are such a valley girl thing to do

SHIT. I AM crazy.
I have a shit of a life to tell.
But I am working out of it
Working out of living hell.

...and now, m thinking in rhymes...I think I am crazy. Yeah, I really do. (Waaah!)