I find my life so monotonous recently. It just revolves around unanswered application emails and trying to forget those. Trying to forget tools can be divided into 2 areas: meeting new people, hanging with old friends. Hanging out with friends is subdivided into 3 areas under it. Entertainment (watching movies, or broadway play), reading (trying to get one book past my book list) or alcohol (the one that makes you feel elated. so not isopropyl). And, for the past weeks, it has been more on alcohol and less on the last two. Gosh.
I could not even find time to write and for that matter, my neurons are taking much longer time to conjure words for a written piece of fucked up blog entry.
Anyway, I've been reading medical blogs since this morning and most of them are rants about the present medical care in the Philippines. Honestly, I've heard a lot of bullshit in the medical industry, hated the bureaucracy in PGH and facing private practice in a society where there is no working health insurance and therefore, no guarantees of being paid. So, I acted on it and went here to New York, passed every exam and decided to apply for any job in the medical field just to escape the sordid truth in the Philippine society. I was an escapee just like 1/2 of our class who decided to go to the land of milk and honey. So here I am, ready to start a life and be picked by an invisible hand to serve people I don't even know, or even, cared for.
Honestly, I miss my Filipino patients. I miss saying "Magandang umaga po. Ano pong ikukunsulta nila?" I miss waking my classmates in the middle of the night for a referral "Hey. My patient needs an ORIF, please do it for me...okay, thanks." And I miss helping Filipinos in need. Haay.
I miss eating with the nurses late in the night. And buying balot or siopao from the nearby food stalls.
I miss delivering babies and assisting in cesarian section while gossiping showbiz news.
I miss waking up in Boracay and greeting my first patient fresh from the bed.
I miss the house calls in Boracay and the excitement that you have to be on your toes for whatever consult they have.
I miss yosi breaks with the manongs and clerks in the hellish world of OsMun, usually after a code in the NICU and after a successful normal delivery (which sometimes scares the shit out of me. One word sends chills to my bones: dystocia)
I miss patients calling me up in the morning asking if it's ok to have cornflakes for her fluctuating blood sugar.
I miss reducing anterior shoulder dislocations in pedia patients (I've done this 3x in Boracay) and their look on you as if you're a superhero.
I miss eating with the NICU nurses and sneaking from the nursing supervisor since its forbidden to eat in the ICU. (But, we have the NA as look out.)
I miss saying "Oo wag kayong mag-alala. Kami po bahala sa anak nyo..."
I miss those simple things in my old life, and I'm pretty sure I'll never have them again.
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